everyone: **plays animal crossing**

me: **moves to an organic farm in the middle of nowhere to grow radishes and befriend (and raise) real living ducks and pigs**

i am now officially a vagrant, wandering the mountains of vermont, living off the land

i’m several hours in and it’s been pretty great so far

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update: we setup in a lil shack formerly used for making maple syrup. today we built a fence so the pups have a little yard to romp around in

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if you want to your pea beds to stay standing even after your chickens peck through them, rake them into the shape of a nice flan

(disclaimer: i actually have no clue what i’m doing)

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adolescent ducks look like a cross between a platypus and a velociraptor

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the duckies are old enough to take field trips to the out of doors now. they were thrilled 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

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sticking your hands into the earth is such a sensual experience i almost need to cw this lewd

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last weekend we got half a foot of snow whereas the farms a couple miles down the mountain got no snow (just rain)

fortunately the snow melted in a few days, but it’s been dreary here most of the week

but then just now,,

clouwd s

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between the quarantine weight gain and the new butch aesthetic i’ve been serving some serious dadbod lately

i figured why not make some good of it. this is for whoever might need it

cw eye contact, mention of deceased family member (fictional)

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the weirdest part about shifting from an office environment to a farm environment is losing all my external feminine signifiers?? heels, makeup, jewelry, long(er) pink hair, femme clothing styles...

everyone i’ve met so far has confidently assumed i’m a guy. i’d never needed to mention gender identity casually in conversation before, and i’m not used to it. in the past i’ve always been able to **gestures vaguely at self**

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working on an organic farm is just the leftist version of joining the military

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me, after several days of digging up weeds: the future is factory farming

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look at this diva getting ready to make her nightly appearance 🌝

that’s not the sun, that’s the moon shining so brightly she’s visible behind the clouds in the evening sky

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pea bed pt ii

we’re building a tent, and we’re going to wrap twine around the outside, except for the entrance, so the pea vines can grow up and form the walls of the tent

my host’s niece who has asperger’s is coming to visit later in the summer, and she’s going to surprise her with a pea tent fort of her very own

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plants are fully so weird. they will freeze completely solid in cold weather, then when they thaw be like “ok i’ll just continue living and growing and whatnot”

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btw if you ever want to visit the mountains of vermont, wait until late june or early july. we’re getting hit rn by our second snow storm in the past four days

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my time on the farm got cut short due to unforeseen circumstances. but my only regret is i never came up with a clever farm-themed display name

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@dragon adult duckies (and chickens) use little bits of gravel to help chew their food bc no teeth. so for baby duckies (and chicks) you have to sprinkle a bit of grit to help them eat their feed

@red Is there _really_ no way? Nothing creative you can do that would count as farm-appropriate signifier?

@Deiru i think probably, but it will take time to figure out. i tried looking for practical work clothes in attractive styles, but i would have had to compromise comfort bc the available options were soooo cis-normative. there are probably better options out there but it takes a lot of time researching just to find them (and they’re often not the most affordable)

@red You can figure it out! With a little bit of luck and ingenuity!

@red wait, why did you have to get rid of the hair, makeup, and jewelry ?

Surely you can still wear SOME makeup & jewelry, just less, like maybe just small earrings that wont get caught in things?

@ItsJenNotGabby haha you’re 100% right, and ultimately it was a decision on my part for reasons of practicality. right now all my material possessions can fit in a backpack, (the rest are in storage), so the only items i brought with me are rather strict essentials. i had planned out the tiniest kit of accessories, to make it work. ultimately i realized that even with those items i still wouldn’t read as femme just as metropolitan, so i cut it from the list 😫😆

@red come to think of it. we don't live far from Vermont.

I do miss the mountains...

@red she really is such a diva. Just draped in the clouds.

@Laser if you ever go through a break up shortly after quitting your job, i highly recommend just packing up and heading to a farm for the summer 😎😎🌞🌾

@red ngl I kind of want to walk away from everything and join you on your farm life

@stelepami pro-tip: if you’re going to the mountains of vermont, wait until june. we’re expecting snow tonight 😆☃️☃️

other than that it’s been great

@red guess you can tell your friend that sometimes it's ok to pea in the tent

A fav of mine! I like it when I wear a jacket or something the next day and not notice it and someone comments on the smell...oh that's just me

@red FWIW this is not very normal even by new england standards. Snow in April, every damn year no matter how hard you try to forget. Snow in May is BS

@red how are you liking the new way of living? I guess it's been almost a month?

@activationfxn it’s been so fun and different, but it’s starting to feel normal now and i kinda love it. i’m finishing up at this farm on the 24th so now i have to decide whether to find another farm and keep going, or pull the rip cord. honestly the only thing that’s giving me hesitation is i didn’t expect the weather to be so abysmal 😂🥶🥶

@red !!! so happy to hear that! does pulling the rip cord = joining the farm you are currently working at?

@activationfxn ah no unfortunately it means going back to a more boring life. one thing i hadn’t anticipated is that a lot of people are working on organic farms right now as a way to stay socially distanced, so the opportunities are actually kinda competitive. alas

@red The venus flytrap thrives when it's been burnt by a fire down to the roots; it can survive for months completely submerged in water; it eats bugs; it sort of counts (not one but two spines have to be triggered to make the trap close); there's only one variety; it is found only in one swamp; that swamp is the site of an ancient meteorite strike I'M JUST SAYIN' ...

@red Some animals follow the 'Freeze and Forget' life cycle too!

We're in this mood every year, in, let's say, July, when we finally lost the Battle Against the Weeds after months of hoeing and pulling.
"Let's just spray poison on it!" 😊

@StroomAfwaarts haha i wish there was a way to like disintegrate a whole patch of land just down to dirt. like a nice big reset button 😂😂

@red context does a lot though. I've only moved from being a bartender to being a parent, and people stopped realizing I'm a woman. And I wear skirts most days.
The people I meet in the childrearing context (teachers etc) are simply not that open-minded. Also hateful bigots, occasionally.

Not sure if this applies to your context, but I'm guessing that outside of the organic/leftist household, it might be a bit... old-timely?

@panina well so i was bracing for somewhat of a culture shock. but one person i met literally works for an LGBT+ rights organization, she’s a cis woman who puts her pronouns in her bio, we’ve had conversations involving trans issues, on multiple occasions i’ve mentioned i prefer gender-inclusive language for myself... i figured if *anyone*, she might offer the courtesy of a they/them. but nooooope

excerpt from an actual conversation —
her: you’re so good with the ducks, you’re like their duck father
me: haha
her: ...or is there a term you prefer instead of ‘father’?
me, hopeful: i would prefer ‘parent’. or you can just call me their nanny, haha
her: no..., one of my coworkers has his kids call him ‘aba’, i meant like that
me: oh

@red my brain just said "Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it."

Sooo, bit of an struggle for you there. I feel for you 💙

I believe farmers can wear lipstick without appearing too urbanized.

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@Robbdoeyes i used to wear a bold lip but by itself it tends to read as “dude with lip” which is a great aesthetic tbh but doesn’t really cross the divide from “gender playful” to “nonbinary”. like obviously there is not actually a difference between how men and nonbinary folk *can* dress, but there is a definite magical boundary where on one side a person is read as “man” and on the other side they are read as “???”. when i’m on this side of it, it’s literally a drag 😂

way too in-depth response 

Yes, I get that. Would le guin scare the natives?

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@Robbdoeyes they seem nice enough. maybe i can find some comfortable 5” gardening heels, a nice apron, a ribboned sun hat, and a few gallons of sweat-proof cosmetics 😆💦👒🌞🌞🌞🌻🌾

It's terrible what a chick has to do to be regular. I'd forgotten about crops.

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moon holiday

every day is a moon holiday when you're living in fully-automated luxury gay space communism. lets dance to honor our lesbian aunt the moon under the silver glow of her justice and grace