everyone: **plays animal crossing**

me: **moves to an organic farm in the middle of nowhere to grow radishes and befriend (and raise) real living ducks and pigs**

i am now officially a vagrant, wandering the mountains of vermont, living off the land

i’m several hours in and it’s been pretty great so far

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update: we setup in a lil shack formerly used for making maple syrup. today we built a fence so the pups have a little yard to romp around in

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if you want to your pea beds to stay standing even after your chickens peck through them, rake them into the shape of a nice flan

(disclaimer: i actually have no clue what i’m doing)

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adolescent ducks look like a cross between a platypus and a velociraptor

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the duckies are old enough to take field trips to the out of doors now. they were thrilled 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

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sticking your hands into the earth is such a sensual experience i almost need to cw this lewd

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last weekend we got half a foot of snow whereas the farms a couple miles down the mountain got no snow (just rain)

fortunately the snow melted in a few days, but it’s been dreary here most of the week

but then just now,,

clouwd s

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between the quarantine weight gain and the new butch aesthetic i’ve been serving some serious dadbod lately

i figured why not make some good of it. this is for whoever might need it

cw eye contact, mention of deceased family member (fictional)

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the weirdest part about shifting from an office environment to a farm environment is losing all my external feminine signifiers?? heels, makeup, jewelry, long(er) pink hair, femme clothing styles...

everyone i’ve met so far has confidently assumed i’m a guy. i’d never needed to mention gender identity casually in conversation before, and i’m not used to it. in the past i’ve always been able to **gestures vaguely at self**

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working on an organic farm is just the leftist version of joining the military

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me, after several days of digging up weeds: the future is factory farming

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look at this diva getting ready to make her nightly appearance 🌝

that’s not the sun, that’s the moon shining so brightly she’s visible behind the clouds in the evening sky

pea bed pt ii

we’re building a tent, and we’re going to wrap twine around the outside, except for the entrance, so the pea vines can grow up and form the walls of the tent

my host’s niece who has asperger’s is coming to visit later in the summer, and she’s going to surprise her with a pea tent fort of her very own

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plants are fully so weird. they will freeze completely solid in cold weather, then when they thaw be like “ok i’ll just continue living and growing and whatnot”

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btw if you ever want to visit the mountains of vermont, wait until late june or early july. we’re getting hit rn by our second snow storm in the past four days

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my time on the farm got cut short due to unforeseen circumstances. but my only regret is i never came up with a clever farm-themed display name

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@red she really is such a diva. Just draped in the clouds.

@Laser if you ever go through a break up shortly after quitting your job, i highly recommend just packing up and heading to a farm for the summer 😎😎🌞🌾

@red ngl I kind of want to walk away from everything and join you on your farm life

@stelepami pro-tip: if you’re going to the mountains of vermont, wait until june. we’re expecting snow tonight 😆☃️☃️

other than that it’s been great

@red guess you can tell your friend that sometimes it's ok to pea in the tent

A fav of mine! I like it when I wear a jacket or something the next day and not notice it and someone comments on the smell...oh that's just me

@red FWIW this is not very normal even by new england standards. Snow in April, every damn year no matter how hard you try to forget. Snow in May is BS

@red how are you liking the new way of living? I guess it's been almost a month?

@activationfxn it’s been so fun and different, but it’s starting to feel normal now and i kinda love it. i’m finishing up at this farm on the 24th so now i have to decide whether to find another farm and keep going, or pull the rip cord. honestly the only thing that’s giving me hesitation is i didn’t expect the weather to be so abysmal 😂🥶🥶

@red !!! so happy to hear that! does pulling the rip cord = joining the farm you are currently working at?

@activationfxn ah no unfortunately it means going back to a more boring life. one thing i hadn’t anticipated is that a lot of people are working on organic farms right now as a way to stay socially distanced, so the opportunities are actually kinda competitive. alas

@red The venus flytrap thrives when it's been burnt by a fire down to the roots; it can survive for months completely submerged in water; it eats bugs; it sort of counts (not one but two spines have to be triggered to make the trap close); there's only one variety; it is found only in one swamp; that swamp is the site of an ancient meteorite strike I'M JUST SAYIN' ...

@red Some animals follow the 'Freeze and Forget' life cycle too!

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moon holiday

every day is a moon holiday when you're living in fully-automated luxury gay space communism. lets dance to honor our lesbian aunt the moon under the silver glow of her justice and grace