white people love talking about what kind of white they are. fully half of conversations between white people sound like “well i’m 42% welsh, 30% finnish and 8% saltine cracker. karen here is 80% dutch, 10% sawdust, 8% german and 4% iberian spanish, ooh how exotic”

@red my mom is one of those people and I'm constantly trying to talk her out of this nonsense

@red like, oh, you found a guy with "sir" in his name from England on cool cool have you considered not giving them our genome in the first place

@red omg but have you seen five pasty white people compare how tan they are

it's the worst

@lightdark @red
Bwugh! Or people talking about how bad brown people are while "working on their tan" by the pool 🙄

@red 12% mayo, 16% aoli, the rest from a small, hidden gem of a village formed by Brett the White at the back of a 90s Subway walkin.

I'm 100% Henry VIII, run over and over through first cousins like a photocopier failure.

@red whenever people ask I just say "I'm all the white ones. All of em."

@red I've heard such conversations and they make it sound like they are an elite group. It's the worst.


I mean, counterpoint, these are all the cultures people could have been connected to were they not swallowed up by the institution of whiteness

@red gonna say this is very specifically American white people, those of us who still live in those countries just consider ourself from those countries and find this way of describing yourself incredibly bizarre

@wolfie just curious, if you moved to france for example would you consider yourself french in a way indistinguishable from someone who’s ancestors had lived there for the extent of recorded history? (presuming your ancestors had *not* lived in france for the extent of recorded history)

@red No, I'd be British (well as long as I had British citizenship), the Americans who say they're Irish/Scottish/Greek etc didn't just move there themselves, it was their great-grandparents or whatever

@wolfie so your kids* would be french in a way indistinguishable from people whose ancestors had lived there for the extent of recorded history?

*hypothetical kids, if you had them in france after moving there

@wolfie @red This island is not free of these kinds of shenanigans. I've watched my sister-in-law argue with her boyfriend (both of whom live in England) about whether he's Scottish. He thinks he is, she thinks his grandparents being from there doesn't make him Scottish and insists he's English.

This is one of the ways Brits like to say they're better than USians where my experience doesn't bear it out.

@error_1202 @wolfie this is fascinating. in his opinion, does his being scottish make him not english? bc i think most americans consider themself americans, and just use ancestry as like how some people use astrology

@red This is such a good way to describe it! I've inadvertently started a big discussion with (British) Spouse on my attempts to explain this and I should've just said "It's like astrology!"

I do also appreciate that the USians who English people tend to encounter here, telling them they're English but they've never been to England before or whatever, are a self-selecting sample of rich weirdos. No one in my poor farmer family talks like this. :)

@error_1202 @wolfie i hadn’t really thought about it a lot, but also a lot of USians try not to mention they’re USians when traveling overseas. so that plus our obsession with european ancestry, (and let’s be honest, the fact that the country is a dumpster fire) must give a really weird international impression of USian national identity

@red What British people tend to know about the U.S. is a mixture of TV/movies, the broad strokes of political news, and random USians they met once/used to work with/dated their brother/etc.

I know I was very weird for a lot of my British in-laws'/co-workers/etc expectations because I'm poor and from a bit of the U.S. that's not on TV (I don't even have the accent or vocabulary they expect of USians!).

@wolfie @red yeah, here in England it's more about which town your great-grandfather was from. particularly if you suspect someone else's great-grandfather was from the similarly-sized town seven miles away from it ;-)

saltine crackers and sawdust are ethnicities? And I thought they were genders.... 🤔

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moon holiday

every day is a moon holiday when you're living in fully-automated luxury gay space communism. lets dance to honor our lesbian aunt the moon under the silver glow of her justice and grace